(Mutambara is the one in full black!)
by Tambanavo Chamanyawi (chamanyawi@gmail.com)
Some people are lucky. For real, Authur Oliver Mutambara is fortunate. The Mechatronics professor will be the deputy prime minister of Zimbabwe from February 13. Isn't shocking? He virtually did nothing that deserves him the post. Mutambara will absolutely make it in the genuine book of records as the world's most auspicious politician.
History is littered with tales of how politicians toil, rot in jails or had escaped the hangmen's noozes for laying claim to higher offices. Nelson Mandela of South Africa sat in solitary conferment for 27 years, Zanu PF's Robert Mugabe lost 11 years of his life. Morgan Tsvangirai glared death in its ugly face after Mugabe raised sedition incriminations against him. Jacob Zuma, the ANC president is still limping from one court room to another for daring to declare interest in the presidential post.
Olesagum Obasanjo of Nigeria spent time behind bars after the late military dictator, Sani Abacha detained him.
Fredrick Chiluba of Zambia did not have the best of times when he took on Kenneth Kaunda. Jonas Savimbi of Angola even died before laying his hand on the throne. But Samanyika, aka Wasu was accessed the job through a phone call by the controversial constitutional professor, Ncube. What a through pass? Just Imagine!
He never even contested the presidency, but chickened out, opting for a safer battle zone in Zengeza East where he polled 1,322 votes, trailing way behind Morgan Tsvangirai and Zanu PF candidates. But the former visiting fellow of Massachutes Institute of Technology will be sworn in as Tsvangirai's deputy this month. Many would agree that politics is a game of luck and power, but Authur's rise (if ever he has risen) to higher office left neither any trace nor formula. In his bid for political relevance, the man lost his moral compass, a sad development which will prove to be a recipe for future disaster in his political career.
I love Arthur's 'Catholic God'. He plentifully rewards him for doing utterly nothing, zero, and zilch. His prayers are really being well acknowledged and answered. The dearly departed ancestors of the indubitably luminous Robotics professor must be working over-time in their graves.
All the Rhodian Scholar had to do was to accept a well-calculated offer from Welsman Ncube to come and be a credible Shona face of a rebellion against Tsvangirai. He also had to do Ncube another small favour. To elbow-out the ambitious but ungifted Gift Chimanikire, who turned out to be a liability to the Ncube formation. Ncube went out shopping for Chimanikire's replacement and 'bought' Authur.
Shame!
In a hire purchase agreement, Mutambara was promised a parliamentary seat in exchange for his tribal services and obviously not for his robotics expertise. Instead, Authur got more than what he bargained for. A deputy prime minister post!
Imagine!
Of course, Tsvangirai's deputy, Thokozani Khupe is also another opportunist who never dreamt of being a deputy prime minister, until the split dawned, but at least she was persecuted by the Mugabe regime. Not even a single slap was administered on Arthur's face by Zanu PF thugs since his startling appearance in Zimbabwe's political furnace.
When Tsvangirai, Lovemore Madhuku, Grace Kwinjeh, Sekai Holland and others were arrested in March 2007 in Highfields and savagely flogged, Arthur, who was also in detention never, sustained even a single bruise. Whilst others were dripping with blood and tears, Authur did not even loose a sweat. Yes! This is a fact. Check with Mrs Holland or Dr. Madhuku. It is common knowledge that Authur even asked the police to beat him up as well so as to beef up his residual and ailing credibility.
And this is the man who would be your Deputy Prime Minister in the next few days. Wait for a moment; don't feel bad about this development. It's not your fault. You never elected him. Whose Deputy Prime Minister is he anywhere? Of course not mine, maybe yours.
Others are real born with silver spoons in their mouths. The 43 year old Oliver surely must be having gold-coated blood flowing in his veins.
Very soon his work place would be Munhumutapa building. It is now certain. Can we all imagine, Zanu PF characters, like Emmerson Mnangangwa, Ignatius Chombo and Didymus Mutasa saluting Mutambara as Shefu? O-oh his gods are shining dazzlingly at him. Who doubts that the Zengeza East senatorial aspirant can easily make millions if he tries his hand in lotto?
Mutambara came to prominence in the late 1980s as a student leader at the University of Zimbabwe. His celebrity status was not a result of anything spectacular. All UZ student leaders have always staged length demonstrations. All he had to do was to jump from his third floor room in Complex three's hall of residence. Arthur was apparently frightfully fleeing from a late night knock on his door. The bald headed Arthur later made everyone to believe that his 'nicodimus visitors' were members of the Mugabe's dreaded CIO.
And for that, the man would re-write Zimbabwe's history by being the second black deputy Prime Minister of former Rhodesia. The first black deputy Prime Minister of Zimbabwe is the late Simon Vengai Muzenda.
After scooping a Rhodes scholarship alongside with Simukai Utete, daughter of Mugabe's Permanent Secretary, Charles Utete, Arthur disappeared from the political rudder of Zimbabwe for almost 20 years.
His first port of call was Merton College where he obtained a PhD in Robotics and Mechatronics. Thereafter he prostituted his services in various institutions before being parachuted back to Zimbabwe to lead the Ncube break away.
What he is now is a clear shadow of his former self. But the man is destined for Mzee's boots.
End..
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